For someone that tries desperately to follow Christ, to read God's Word and live by it, and to do well unto others, I do a real crap job of actually placing my trust completely in Him. I rationalize which in my experience is irrational when talking about a God that pulls off the impossible.
I had apprehension when I started attending a new church. "You're going to love it!" my then girlfriend and now wife told me. But I wasn't sure. I had seen over recent years certain qualities in organized religion that did not set well with me. I wasn't in a good place spiritually. I had seen money-hungry churches, judgmental churches, you name it. And I projected that without knowing a thing about the church. God told me to trust Him, that I was going to enjoy it and feel different. I went hesitantly yet convinced in my own head that this church would be no different and that God just didn't know how I felt about church. Wrong and wrong. And I have been with the church ever since, have felt the Spirit move through me in ways I hadn't before thanks to this church. I deeply love that church.
God 1 - Jonathan 0 (plus a great church home)
What?!?! You want me to tithe to that church, too?!?! God, for the love of You, we're broke! We've barely got money to cover the bills. What do you want me to do, turn off the cable?!? "Ummmm.....yeah."
Crap. OOOOOO-KKKKKKAAYYYY. I'm telling you I don't have the money, and when I give it up, life is gonna kind of suck. Just sayin'.
"What, Jonathan? I've got this."
And we started to give, and it did hurt at times, and our life grew spiritually. Then it happened. After only 6 months on my job, I went from a temp hire to a full time employee with benefits receiving a near 40% raise. What was I thinking? Jesus fed 5000 people with a handful of bread loves and some fish and I didn't think God could take some paper money and multiply it?! Dummy, dummy, dummy.
Call it fate, call it good work, call it karma, call it luck. I CALL IT GOD.
God 2 - Jonathan 0 (but with a promotion)
I started course on the New Testament and Revelation on iTunesU. At first I was excited, then the New Testament professor spoke to me through my Mac in a way that spelled certain doom for my learning.
"We will not be studying the Bible from a spiritual viewpoint but rather a historical and often times secular view."
Well, crap. There goes that lesson. And then the Spirit talked to me.
"Keep with it. You're going to learn something."
Not-uh, God.
"Yes you will. I'll bet your tithe on it."
God seriously bet his money on it. OOOOO-KKKKAAAAY God. And then I learned. A lot. In spite of the view. And it has strengthened my faith and made reading the Bible all the more fun, enjoyable, exciting, and learning an experience.
Ok this guy's good. God 3 - Jonathan 0 (Back to School Bible Bliss)
Finally the other day, I had the nerve, the gaul, the audacity to complain about the flu to God. In case you haven't gotten the point thus far, he's been alright to me. On my 28th birthday, I got the flu and felt terrible. Not cool.
"Of all days, I have to be sick on my birthday, God?!"
I didn't get a direct response, but from the point I uttered those words, the worship song "Mighty to Save" was in my head, and I went from looking like death eating a soda cracker to all better within 12 hours.
Final Score. God 4 - Jonathan 0 (plus a church, promotion, Bible wisdom, and health)
Ok, you've got my attention. No more doubting you.....until the next time. But the awesome thing about my God is that he will blow my mind again when I question him most and deserve it least.
Like I said, He's really good. ALWAYS.
No comments:
Post a Comment